Child support agreements

Posted: January 2, 2015 in Life

Some people may take offense to this blog today and some may see my points.  But, this is on my heart today and I feel for some fathers and mothers out there in this cruel and greedy world…

I was divorced in October of 2008.  My ex-husband and I have a son together.  He was 4 years old when we divorced.  My son and I got an apartment and were starting our life together.  Yes, I felt alone.  Yes, I had mixed emotions about the divorce.  But, my ex and I still make sure we both get EQUAL time with our son.  We have NEVER went by what the court says is equal time.  I don’t believe that it is equal.

We did not want issues between us.  We wanted our son to have a healthy life with both parents involved in everything our son is apart of.  We both decided that neither one of us pay child support.  YES, You read that RIGHT!! NO ONE PAYS CHILD SUPPORT!!  Here are a list of our reasons…

1. We both have a house payment.

2. We both have a car or 2 payments.

3. We both have electric bills.

4. We both have water bills.

5. We both have to feed our son.

6. We both would like to be able to take vacations.

And the list could go on and on…

We wrote up our OWN paper to be notarized and went in front of the judge to agree to the terms.  Our statement says something like this…

Both parties agree to never pay child support through the years of our son being up to 18 years old.  Any extra curricular activity that our son is involved in we split the cost.  This includes school, supplies, sporting events, or anything that our son would want to be involved in.  And whomever the child resides with during school years, the child spends all breaks and summer (Except during my ex husband’s work shut down, which is about a week) with other parent.  And gets every 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend with other parent.  Both parents supply clothing, hygiene, water, electricity, and etc. for our son in each home.

It bothers me to see some mothers/fathers taking advantage of the other parent.  I see so many moms taking their ex to the “cleaners” just to get an extra buck in their pocket.  BOTH parents have bills, BOTH parents have LIVES.  I don’t understand why anyone would ask for money from the other parent.  I have seen mothers taking vacations and buying all kinds of things for the child. Which is great, don’t get me wrong.  But, then I see the fathers.  The fathers can’t go anywhere with their child because half of their paycheck goes to their ex.  The mothers don’t care because they are completely comfortable.  But, the father can’t provide at his own home the things he would LOVE to do with their child because he can’t afford to.

Parents,  I ask that you sit back and think of the child.  RATHER than yourself.  I have seen agreements made and then one day someone says oh you should take them to court for this and that.  Next thing you know, your relationship with your ex spouse is nothing but arguing.  How is that healthy for your child?  You are only hurting YOUR FUTURE relationship with your own child.

My dad paid $400/month for me in child support.  Did I ever see a dime? No! I only seen my dad every other weekend and a month out of the summer.  My relationship with my dad was rocky.  It wasn’t until I was old enough to understand everything.  Now, my dad and I are closer than ever before.  I feel like I have to make up for the time that was lost with him.  I was brought up first hand in a broken home.  I never understood child support.  And if the mother/father paying child support betters themselves and gets a degree to make more money.  They take even more money out.  It is ridiculous.  A parent can’t help raise their new family because half of their paycheck goes to that one or two children.

My suggestions…

Sit and talk with your ex.  Come to an agreement with one another and write up your own decree.  Make it reasonable.  There are some single mothers/fathers that can use the help and I understand that.  But, taking the other parent back to court so you can have a better life is not the answer.  Make an agreement for the other parent to buy clothes, shoes, or what is needed. Instead of so much money a month.   Maybe even put the money in an account for the child’s college fund.  Each parent contribute to that.  Do something for the child’s future rather than for your own present being!

What is best for you and your family?  Do you really need that money you get every month?  My son loves not having to pack a bag and such every time he goes to the other parents home.  And his toys never get old because its like new when going back and forth.

Today, be thankful that your child has both parents in their life.  And both want to be a part of everything they are involved in.  Think about it.  IF you were still together, you both would be at the school having lunch and seeing all their grades.  Let the child take their school bag to the other parent to let them see how their child is doing.  Make sure that BOTH parents are involved and know EVERYTHING that is going on in your child life.

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